The Art of Public Speaking…

First things first – I am no expert on Public Speaking. This is no treatise on Public Speaking.

As a Public Policy student at the Lee Kuan Yew School, I am exposed to a variety of Speakers on a daily basis. We have in-house speakers, in-house “star” speakers, visiting speakers, speakers who have other jobs but come to speak & even people who have no other job but to speak. I am going to put down, what my mind tells me, the 10 apparently important things to do while speaking in Public.

1) Self-Deprecate: Start with “I am nothing of what he said…” making the introducer look like a lier or a fool. But never write & bring your own text that the introducer can read out.

2) Humble Pride: Do the “…where I was identified as the most amazing field man in the company” & “I was in the running for the Nobel Prize, but I never cared for awards…”; the trick is to maintain the poker face & nonchalant tone. Pretend  to not notice the audience maintain the same poker face & nonchalant tone.

3) Self-Promotion: Include video clips of self in TV, photos with celebrities, website links, article mentions etc. Especially giving out one’s website is cool – ensure the website has the above mentioned props & addresses of at least 10 cities, each at least 5000 miles apart from the other.

4) Out-of-the-world Frameworks: Structure the speech in what can be best called weird & think it is creative. Ideally, cover about 40% of what you said you will cover.

5) Display a Bias: Make sexist comments. Or chauvinistic remarks. Be snide & sarcastic. Call a popular theory crap & a popular personality an idiot. Basically, vie for attention, especially if it leads to a scandal.

6) Throw Names: Start with “I’ll tell him you said that…” & move to “…when I had gone to his home for dinner last week…” before sealing it with “…I have a special connection with his wife.”

7) Mention Occasions: “…the Obama Swearing in Ceremony was so cold…”, “…Copenhagen Convention…” & “…9/11 ground zero…” experiences are a must. Everyone should know where all you had been through last year.

Use words from different languages: The politest way of saying that you showered in Japan, had Breakfast in Korea, read Chinese Newspapers, did Business in Hong Kong, Lunched in Vietnam, took a Siesta in Thailand, drank Tea in Singapore, Gossiped in Indonesia, Dined at Sri Lanka & Slept in India. Choose a different region for the next day.

9) Dodge Questions: First, encourage people to ask questions & then start doging; until you get enough, dodging is not fun – so make people ask you questions. And then answer in global terms; E.g. The perfect answer for “When do you think the recession will end?” should start with “In my opinion, the Iraq war is futile…”

10) Court Controversy: “Obama bailed out GM because his step-sister’s granddaughter has chevy…”, “Lee Kuan Yew wears white because he is colour blind…” or “Amartya Sen cleared his Grade 10 with grace marks…” etc. are normal.

I have learnt so much in the first 4 months that I am very pleased. Hope this learning curve continues it’s upward trend.